Sometimes I feel as though life is moving so fast that I can’t keep up. Its as if each moment slips through my hands like fine sand. When I first started practicing yoga I learned how to, “ground down into the earth.” Grounding down refers to pressing into the mounds of the feet so that you can easily lift the toes without losing balance. In our last class Alicia told us about her experience of yoga and how it has helped her to feel fulfilled passionate about her life. Alicia’s story really spoke to me. At this point in my life I am feeling lost in many ways. As I look into the future I see possibility, love, and happiness but right now as I go through the days of my final semester I mainly just feel rushed. Precious Mcneil refers to an anonymous quote in her blog post from February 10th.
“First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start my career. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire. Now, I am dying…and suddenly I realize I forgot to live~ anonymous~”
This quote spoke to me because I have been in many situations that I wish would just hurry up and end but now that I am about to graduate and attempt to find a job that fulfills me I wish I had more. I wish the days could both slow down and speed up, however, all of this wishing has just made me lose touch with the present moment. I feel so far from grounded that I no longer know what I want. Three weeks into the semester and feeling more lost than ever I decided to take the advice of Abram and reconnect so I went outside. The warm sun has finally returned and the grass reeks of a pungent freshness. I tried to reawaken my senses by standing barefoot in my backyard. The earth being slightly damp gave in to my weight and I felt grounded for the first time in a month. It may also have been due to the fact the weather was nice, (I completely relate to Eric Ginsburg on that one), but I believe that it was more so due to the act of slowing down and trying to take in as much of my environment as possible.
In this moment I asked myself what I really wanted. What came to mind was not entirely clear but a few things appeared in the fog of my awareness. I want to be free to spend time with my family. I want to be on the same schedule as my finance because when it really comes down to it he is the most important person in my life. I also want my job to either include art or allow time for it. I just feel better when I am creating something. I also want my job to contribute to Greensboro. I was born and raised here and I can’t really imagine any other place as home. I’m still feeling overwhelmed and flustered about what I should be doing when I graduate but that moment, with my feet touching the ground as connected to my environment as one can be in the backyard of a suburban home, I finally felt as though the world stopped spinning and I knew where I stood